It would be October, during the Revel, that I would make an unusual discovery.
It’s an issue that nobody really ever thinks much about, but is a very sad one nonetheless.
I was taking my kids to have lunch at the Revel and listen to our favorite band, Trout Fishing in America, when we were stopped by a lady who was pushing a twin stroller.
Being stopped in public isn’t all that unusual for us, in fact it’s quite the norm.
But this time was a little bit different. This lady wasn’t the actual mother of the twin toddler’s she was pushing in that stroller.
She is a foster mom who specializes in preemies and multiples who are given up for whatever reason by their families for adoption.
During the course of our conversation, her phone rang and she excused herself to answer it.
I would find out after she ended the call, that it was the social worker from the hospital calling to see if she was available to foster three tiny triplets, born to a teen mother at only 23 weeks and left in the NICU to their own devices.
The truly sad part, was that this lady had been forced to turn down the offer because she already was fostering twins and another child as well.
I really wanted to help. I know that, much like the lady from the Revel that day, I have my own very full house right now.
I just can't help myself when I find myself tearing up over the whole thing.
After all, one of the first things that I learned about babies born prematurely, especially micro-preemies like those triplets were, is that they draw their strength from their mommies being there with them.
It's part of the premise behind the whole kangaroo care treatments and the reason so many micro-preemies make it through the NICU and grow up to be healthy babies.
I just can’t imagine anyone abandoning their very tiny children like that on the assumption that there is someone out there who will step in as a foster parent and be there for them as an advocate of their care and as support for their tiny growing bodies.
From speaking with this lady, I learned that there are really very few people willing to take on the work involved in caring for a premature baby that is still in the NICU, much less anyone willing to care for multiples.
Multiples rely on each other for comfort and self-soothing as very tiny babies. The thought of what might happen if they were to be split up is a very sad one.
Today, as I was lurking on the preemie forum for Preemie Magazine, I ran across a thread that involved a very select few people in the world, people who were actively fostering and trying to adopt children left by their families in the NICU.
It gave me a little hope that there are people out there willing to care for these special babies.
Unfortunately, they appear to be very few in number. In today’s world, most people aren’t looking to adopt a special needs or high medical maintenance child or children, unaware that many of these children would qualify for Medicaid to cover medical expenses.
Instead, they are turning to other alternatives in the adoption world.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying everyone should only adopt these children.
Adoption is a very personal choice for anyone considering it.
I often wonder whatever became of those tiny triplets left in the NICU to their own devices.
I can only hope that someone out there was available to step in and give them a chance.
My husband and I have talked about it at length about it, and have decided that once our own kids are grown, we are going to try fostering preemies and multiples.
I challenge others out there who are looking to be foster parents or adopt to look into this growing problem and explore this issue further and see if it is right for your family.
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