It's officially RSV season. For the uninitiated, this is the time of year that spans from September all the way through the end of April and every preemie family is familiar with it.
For those of us with preemies, we all dread its coming each year. It's a time where we, as parents, must literally do our best to keep our kids inside and away from anyone who might be sick or school aged children who might be carrying a myriad of germs from school.
It's really hard on us as parents as we really cannot take our kids anywhere that isn't outside or in the open.
It's very difficult not to become stir-crazy from staying inside for so long!
The most awful part about this, is that unless you have had or have a preemie, you most likely will not understand why we put ourselves and our families through this each year.
It's the most difficult during the holidays, I think. Often times, our families just do not understand the huge risk of bringing our children to family gatherings and feelings often do get hurt.
Well meaning friends and relatives often try and come for a visit, often unannounced and with children in tow.
It's very difficult not to come across as rude about the situation, but we as preemie-Mums really do try to be as gentle and tactful as we can.
In an effort to combat the problem and avoid confrontation, fellow Mum of a preemie put a sign on her front door that reads, "We're sorry, but we cannot have any visitors right now... A very special preemie lives here and it's cold/RSV/flu season...Thank you for taking time to come visit and thank you for your understanding."
I really do not know if this will work or not, but it's not a bad idea at all. All that we are really looking for is understanding from our well-meaning friends and relatives.
Even if people can't understand our situation, and find that their ways are different from ours, then all we are asking for is acceptance.
If you know any preemie Mums, please try and accept that we really do have it VERY different than full term Mums (of healthy full term baby's).
We had our longed awaited pregnancies cut short. As we lay in our hospital beds, listening to the mothers and babies in the next room bonding. our babies were busy fighting for their very lives that had only just begun.
Most of us would not get to even meet our babies for a day or so. We had only the pictures taken by a thoughtful nurse to stare at and wonder what our children were like after their birth.
We left the hospital empty handed which has got to be one of the the worst feelings in the world.
We sat by isolettes, watching our children with their frail, thin, tiny bodies struggle for breath with their irregular heartbeats, Brady's & apnea's.
We stayed with them through frightening procedures, watching them with their tubes and ventilators, and we had to say goodbye to them everyday.
Even after we leave the NICU our troubles are not yet over. Our lives are never the same again after an experience like this.
We thank our God(s) for the life our child(ren) fought for and won but we have to protect it long after coming home.
Even if others do not think that we HAVE to be so protective, I believe that we have all earned the right to BE as much as we would like to with no questions asked, no strange looks, no bad attitudes or ugly comments, and no ugly glances or negative comments.
Until you have seen the inside of a NICU/PICU then others should quit judging us about how we protect our children.
Once RSV and cold/flu season is over, we will all be happy to have you come for a visit and bring your well kids along too.
Family and Friends should be happy with what dedicated parents these preemies have. It takes a lot of work and it's SO very difficult sometimes.
So anyways, needless to say, we're in hibernation right now... Updated: Now it's pandemic times & it amplifies the need for my kids to stay at home.
No, we don't live in "Fear" like so many love to say about those who are actively quarantining, we are sensible & are privy to more than the average family because of our preemie-ness.
We know how to stay home during winter already making this one a no-brainer for us.
The kids understand...heck, I couldn't drag one of them kicking & screaming out of the house right now if I wanted to, it's just how she is: strong sense of self & awareness.
Til things are better in the nation, we will stay safe and warm at home & hopefully, disease free.
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